I would like to share my transformation experience, but I am not really sure what transformation is. I suppose, to talk about my personal transformation, I have to analyse myself and understand the difference between how I was and how I am. I think it was Swami who started the process within me.

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I was 13 the first time my mom told me about Swami and from what I can remember, I have always believed in Him being the Avatar and in the stories about the work He was doing. However, being a young teenager, I was not really listening to what my mom was telling me about Him, I had no desire to hear about it all.

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It took many years before something started to change. In April 2015, Swami came to Italy for the Divine Visit in His Subtle Form. I was then a newcomer and I did not know well what they were talking about or understand much about it. There was, however, one thing that happened I will never forget; at the end of the visit, Swami told us He will be waiting for us in India to join the celebrations of His 90th birthday. Until that moment I had never even considered the possibility of going to India, but since Swami Himself had invited us, I knew I had to go. I still remember the astonished look on my mom's face when she realised that her usually disinterested daughter would willingly and gladly take that trip.

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I usually plan out every detail for trips abroad, but for India I felt no such drive. I started getting ready for my trip and I let things happen how they would, without worries. Swami was already taking care of everything. I still remember that first journey and all the emotions that accompanied me. I was new at this, new at the whole "Sai devotee" thing, and  I felt completely inexperienced and still not fully aware of all that was happening around me. Day after day I would see other devotees overwhelmed by tears during Darshan, while I was still figuring out what was going on and I arrived to think there was something wrong if I could not feel like the others around me. Why was I the only one not feeling anything? I could not answer. I decided to be patient and give myself some time to understand and to get used to this new world and how I felt. Upon my return home after that first visit to Swami, I noticed some changes in my behavior and in the way I dealt with everyday problems. At that time I was volunteering in a hospital and my work presented many difficult moments. I noticed a change in how I reacted in those moments that challenged me, because I was more calm. My co-workers noticed the change as well and had made severals remarks about it. I had a different approach to the world, a more positive outlook than before, trying to make the most of every situation.

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Today, I am trying to think of new ways to change myself intentionally, to intelligently and open-heartedly use the strength of my willpower and faith in Swami to understand myself better, to bring out the best in my character and live. Swami's teachings and discourses are a source of inspiration, motivation and wisdom that light my way. I only ask of Swami to keep an eye on me and guide me on my journey of transformation.