Personal Transformation Experience

How to Make God Yearn for Our Darshan

In my apartment in a small town close to Hamburg in Germany, on the morning of December 9, 2018, I woke up with a strange feeling of wanting to tune to the Sanathana Vani radio stream. The programme streaming was “Badri's Hour” and the talk was about how we must make God yearn for OUR Darshan and not the other way round. I was amused at this theme since, “Why is He not looking at me?“ is a question every one of us sitting in Darshan has asked ourselves at some point. It has never been about God seeking Our Darshan. I continued listening.

 

The speaker was speaking about how Arjuna made Krishna pine for him. Every time Krishna saw Arjuna, He would go “weak in the knees”. As he spoke about Krishna being eager, the speaker also mentioned that God loves to "cook" us - He increases the heat, adds extra ingredients and watches us simmer. When we settle down and stop simmering in the pot - His goal is to eat us, in one full wholesome gulp! A general understanding of this would mean that God consumes us, absorbs us and makes us a part of Him through all our testing experiences in life. This really struck a deep chord in me and I sat down to meditate with the question of How we could all make ourselves edible for God and make Him yearn for OUR Darshan. The following narrative is what has come out of that contemplation and is a deeply personal experience that I felt I could share.

 

>>Wondering about What God would Love to Eat, I saw myself slowly change form into a big, round, yellow, soft Mango fruit. It was hilarious at first to experience a different physicality. This fruit was lying in front of a giant Mango tree. The tree felt like the parent, like the Source. The Mango’s only dream was to be eaten. Having anyone who could take a bite, enjoy it and say, “Wow, best mango ever” was the central goal of its life. There was a strange joy in being so round and rejoicing at being consumed. As I watched myself in laughter, I was eventually made to shift focus to look into my Heart. My Heart or the centre of the Mango seemed to have some rough patches, it was hard, brown, fibrous. They seemed unsavoury and my individual self remembered that these would make God not want to eat it at all! It is one thing to be eaten by a bird, beast or man. But there is pride amongst Mangoes too. The one that gets picked by God, needless to say, is Perfect. As I became worried about not being able to be this perfect Mango due to the fibrous core, there seemed to be a solution to cure my defects. The scene shifted to represent all the people who I had not liked or had reacted to recently. As a Mango now, I wobbled, rolled up to them, tripping on my own roundness, finally reaching them and giving them a big smothering mango hug. With this hug, I watched them all turn into mangoes that looked exactly like me. This made my fibrous core much softer and was the solution to how I could be more pulpy and delicious. Then as a general habit, I started to send out Love to All of creation. Now a Mango, I felt that every living being is in fact working towards becoming as round, juicy and soft as possible. They all have aspects that are rough and dry but that can be changed with Love or mango Hugs. Not only that, the more mango hugs you give to others, the more juicy and soft You become! It is a chain reaction of the most wonderful type. Finally, being consumed as a Mango means that you turn into seed - which can only proceed to become a Tree and never a fruit back again. The fibrous aspects in my self and others, in my understanding, represented unhealed, unloved aspects that needed nothing but more compassion.<<

 

We all look to practice Swami's Nine point code of conduct, Meditations, Bhajans, Service and so on. All these activities are ordained to bring us in close proximity to our own Higher Self, which is God. However, a lot of us sometimes forget that coming closer to God involves reducing one’s sense of self to a big Zero; to becoming just a fruit that wants to be eaten. It serves us as a good reminder to remember that God draws himself to sweetness, purity and selflessness. All of which a Mango is and we can be too. May Swami’s Love blossom in all Hearts! Jai Sai Ram.

Nikita Giridhar

Region 3, Germany